7/6/10

kadhal konden (in love)

the one rupee samosas somehow managed to hold all of rakeshs's attention. there was a huge crowd in the psbb canteen. it was lunch time. his best friend satish used to scoff at the samosas. "look at them. small like bonsai penis. amma said they are made from used engine oil da machi".. rakesh dint understand what bonsai penis was. but he never asked. he never knew many things. like why his lab partner lavanya (who was the only girl of his age he had ever spoken to.twice) was regularly absent for school every three days in a month. and they were pretty much the 4th,5th,6th of every month. it meant two lab periods he had do double the work. he just knew she was from mylapore. nothing else he knew about her. satish said she was very arrogant and funny. in equal measures. rakesh dint understand this either. he dint ask. he never asked. a small jerk and he looked at the samosas once again. they glistened in the sun. wait the canteen was a closed place. where did the sun come from? his eyes opened hazily.

the engine oil samosas were in a red bucket. a bucket full of engine oil samosas. the bucket was on a guy's head who was yelling smosa smosa smosa. he looked around. the bus stand proclaimed nayudupeta. that tobacco filled old gentlemen in balarshah station had told him of nayudupeta. from there ,dear madras was just 3 hours away. he wanted to go and buy those samosas. but he couldnt. 1.he had no money with him. not a single paise. 2. she was sleeping on his shoulder. she looked so beautiful and serene in this sleepy state. he dint want to wake her up. and so sat and watched on. remembering the good old days. his life had revolved around the greatest school on earth-psbb. rakesh was always different. even though the school was known for its kadlai quotient he had spoken only thrice to a girl in the great psbb campus. twice to lavanya ("lavanya have you written last weeks record?" "lavanya i feel like vomiting.can you open this frog for me?"). once to divya "divya dint lavanya come today?" he dint want to think further. painful memories.

this was really a strange journey for him. having studied in the iit,life had been good. he went off to america,done his masters in computers and found a job as a banker. this was his first trip home after long. he landed in mumbai only to learn that his flight was cancelled. bandh due to price they said. so he tried the trains. with just 3 trains daily to chennai it was full. so he had gone nagpur and from there taken the kerala express, the first train that went south from nagpur. kerala express dint go chennai. instead he had to get down at renigunta and take a bus to nayudupeta and from there to chennai. and now he was in nayudupeta. he looked at the crowd. quite random they seemed to be. but rakesh had seen enough in his life to know that things that look random are just familiar patterns. patterns so familiar that you overlook them. infact it disturbed him. the familiarity about randomness. satish would often say to him"dont think too much da. thoughts are usually interrupted by something or the other". and as satish would have it his cell vibrated. she stirred slightly. he was careful not to disturb her. he removed the cell form his shirt pocket as noiselessly he could. it was a text from that devil satish.

s:fuck machan.do you know they are selling tampons in chennai now? fuck

r:how do you know da? and what are these tampons?

s:i saw a girl throw the cover of a tampon when i went to swim today da.can you imagine how dirty she is. dirtying the whole pool for us. coming to swim at this time.waatha

r:dei naiye.what is tampon?

s:useless dag. tampons are shaped like your penis. the girls plug it in when they expect blood to come out.

r: omg. so she was using this tampon to masturbate when she was swimming?

s: *facepalm* *wallhead*. duh. tampons are like substitute for sanitary napkins da. cotton rolls. plug it in during periods and it absorbs blood. so now you can wear mini skirts and swim suits when you have your periods. now you got it?

r:sorry da.i dint know. so why were you angry about it in the first place?its good only no? more and more skirt days in spencers and sathyam

s: can you just imagine the potential this holds for ad film makers. already we got really shitty pad ads. now with tampons on there will be more shitty ads than girls having period on that very day. god!

r:seri da i will sms you later when i reach chennai. we should go spencers today and hunt for figures. time since i saw some good jinglis

rakesh switched off his cell. it started crying. no charge. so it was shut. he looked at her face again. it some how felt nice. to have that mass of head on his shoulder. her held felt light. and her hair blowing against his face. at the very moment her head slid lightly from his right shoulder to his chest. he felt something. he couldnt decide what it was. it was electric. yes thats what it was. this light head of hers on his chest. how come this felt so nice? an elderly couple sitting adjacently gave him the stares as he put his hands around her. he dint care. a small girl about 7 or 8 boarded the bus then. it started to get a bit sultry. rakesh wanted the bus to start. the girl started to give away a sheet of paper to everyone on the bus. she handed out a paper to rakesh. rakesh read it. it roughly said she was very sick and her mom was sick too. dad dint exist. no one else. the girl needed some operation soon and asked for money. rakesh never encouraged beggars. so he crushed the paper and threw it out. and he settled into this state of bliss. no one can trouble him now. 

the girl was back. she begged for money. "illa ma. po" he tried to shoo her away. 

"tamizh ah? anna andha paper kudunga na" (give me that paper)

"yendha paper ma? andha zerox ah?" (you mean that zerox paper?)

"amam anna"  (yes)

"adha thuki potuten ma"  ("i threw it away")

"yenahdu thuki potutiya? ippo nan yenna pannuven?"  (you threw it away? what will i do)

"shh.satham podadha. thirumbi kudukanumnu yeppovadhu soniya? notice kudutha yarum thirupi keka matanga."  (dont create a scene. did you tell me i had to give you back the notice? when you give a notice you dint ask for it back)

"yevan sonan. inga paaru yellarume notice thirupi kuduthutanga. kaila mupadhu notice paper. ippo onnu illati aatha kitta yenna solven?"  (who said? see everyone has given back the notice. i have 30 notices with me. now if i have one less what will i tell my mother?)

"seri seri.sorry ma. nan indha routeku pudhusu. manichuko" (am sorry.am new to this route.apologies)

"yov un sorry yaruku ya venum? yenoda aatha adikum ya. seri kasu yedu. indha serax velai kudu" (who needs your sorry? my mom will thrash me. ok give me money. the cost of this zerox)

at this point the girl on rakesh's shoulders stirred up. she looked sleepily from rakesh to the small girl . with a strange look on her face she turned to rakesh "saary sare. night no sleep. so sleep now. sorry for leaning on you saare." .. she turned to the small girl "idhu nayudupeta ga?". the small girl noded. she got down. the small girl mustered her best angry look. rakesh looked around. all were looking at him. rakesh was never comfortable in such situations. 

"ippo nee anju roomba yeduka poriya illiya?"(are you going to give me five rupees or not?)

"idho paruma yen kitte ippo kasu illa. indha oru vatti vitudu" (i dont have money.so let me off this time)

rakesh looked away from all the crowd that was watching him and plugged in his ipod. jesudas started singing "kadhal konden, kanavinai valarthen...". angry tap on his shoulders. he tried not to react. his ear plug was angrily snatched off. 

"nee ippo kasu thara poriya illa?" (are you going to give money or not?)

"zerox oru ruba thaan. nee anju kekara. adhuvum nee thirupi kudukunumnu solave illa"(the zerox costs one rupee and you are asking five. and you never told me you had to give me back)

enter mr. panchayathu balaram-"yov chinna ponna yemathadha ya. kekara anju rooba kudu ya"(dont cheat that little girl.give her the 5 rupee.)

r:"sir neenga onga velaiya parunga. inga paru ma. ne thirumbi kudukunumnu solla ve illa. ippo kalambu" (sir you keep out of this. look here girl you never told me to give it back. now leave)

balaram:"dei yena vitta pesikite pora. chinna pona yemathadhey da. ne iru ma nan kasai vangi tharen" (dont cheat her. wait girl, i will get you the money)

r:"sir maanatha vanga dheenga sir. nejama kaasu illa. inga atm iruka?" (sir dont embarass me. is there an atm here?)

balram:" edhir side one hour pona atm varum. dabaikadha. paka high classa iruka 5 ruba illa nu sona namba solriya?" (atm one hour away.you look high class. dont have five rupee?)

r:"idho parunga. yen kita nejamave kasu kadayadhu. un adress kudu. nan pathu ruba anupuren.pathu yenna nooru tharen"  (i really dont have money. give me your adress. i will surely mail you ten..wait 100 rupess)

girl:"seri nee ippo yenoda vandhu aatha kitta solitu po" (ok come and tell my mom now and go)

balram:"iruma avan unnai yemathuran. ooruku poi anupala na?" (wait girl, he his cheating you.what if he doesnt send money after getting home)

now the whole bus was staring at rakesh. the embarassment was taking over him. he dint know what to do. its in these situations that ones stupidity shows how stupid it can get. he did what he had to.  balram was very happy. the champion of justice.


"anna pathu ruba anupu. nan idhai thirupi anupuren. idhu thirupi anupathurkum sethu kasu anupu"(once you mail me the 10rs i will mail this back to you.send me the postal charges too)


 rakesh reached chennai on time. satish picked him up from the bus stand. 

s:"machan did you think about those tampons? we should think of ad lines for those tampons. loads of money there macha"

r:"dei shut up da. just drive home"

satish switched on the radio. he never liked silence. and jesudas started singing yet again-"kadalil vizhundhen kanavinai valarthen.."

s:"dei where is that girl's photo?"

r:"shut up and drive. thevidya."

rakesh reached home. joy. and relief. his niece came running over. she would have been the same age as the little girl on the bus "mama,where is the ipod.i want to listen to shakalaka baby".  

"i lost it ma"

free


ps-now this is shit.but i wrote it long back.am going to post such stuff.am bored. am supposed to be in the frustrated finished college and yet to start work phrase. of course am enjoying this state of bliss. will post daily form now on.


pps- currently addicted to that sinhalese song in kanathil muthamittal, swan lake, muse and niladri kumar. that track babur comes to india is gethu. and i came across this debasish bhatacharya who has invented 3 slide guitars which sound divine. addicted to his stuff as well. anyways i have no idea why am writing this here.whatever.free


ppps-and being vetti i have given in and am stalking all of you. yes all of you. be warned

11 comments:

Sachita said...

dude, i havent read this one yet but this post of yours caused the blog to be blocked at oppice!!!!

amal said...

was wondering how this post seems so anomalous to ur current style..till i read tat u wrote it long back.. interesting read! looking frwd for more..

Spaz Kumari said...

so random! quite nice.

nothing is there to stalk. stalk off if you like.

soin said...

@sachita..what? am blocked?? yay am famous. whatey. thank you. anyways why was my blog blocked?

@amal..anomalous ah? apidina?peteru

@spaz..cha dont insult rubbish by calling it nice. cha what to do stalking you. i can find your name easy enough. its the totally anon people who are fun to stalk.free

HaRy!! said...

than,bi.. ithu neja kathaya?? sami.... avan nelamaya nenacha..ore pavama iruku... avane epadi poi kadupu ethaninga? :)

soin said...

almost nesa kadha. random girl sleeping on shoulder to one guy and poster manam drr another guy.free

Sachita said...

Soin: i think the whatever the software oppice is using looks out for certain word, and called your blog adult related!:)
it also blocked a cooking blog for the same reason.watevr.

Naarya said...

Oru maadiri it was nice.

Shalini said...

Naaice...I'm learning Tamizh from your blog! ;)

soin said...

@naarya..free

@shalini .. is that good or bad

Shalini said...

Its VERY GOOD!
If you ever get a chance to hear my Tamizh, you'll seriously roll on the floor laughing!!