since you read this i presume you ask all shooting imaginary questions.and i will answer them. so the last month or so am feeling..well nothing. basically words make no sense. i got bored and tried twitter. sucked big time. made me feel even more useless. and hey before i forget and get all weepy, am typing this from my laptop.yes it has been revived and now once again lives.

anyways with blogs books and everything that has to do with words discounted i got bored. and juju came back with kgs of chocolate. i had a box of ferro rocher all by myself for lunch. three days been eating only chocolates. this is worse than cigg addiction. i mean my chocolate addiction. since 8th i started getting money, i have eaten a cadbury almost every day. some chocolate or the other. i have tried desperately to stop it. but i cant. and well i wont.

so it got really hot so i went and got my once famous hair cut off. and the very next day the bastards announce that lamb of god concert is happening. exited yes. but my best head banging chance gone. fuck. so i am totally mottai now. sessions and and sem around.

i feel motivated. in a different way. i basically want to sit and do nothing. been thinking of stuff i usually i dont think about.

cycles. wonder why everything seems to go in a cycle these days. we were wearing small leafy things once. bark and all that. then it got longer. more opaque. now its getting shorter. opaque is getting translucent. and the whole go green thing. bah. so why? ah the resources. the resources that are available to our civilisation is not adequate. i mean population is moving in an exponential curve and the resources is like x=y graph. more than 2000 years over. the gap. is that what 2012 meant? no wonder god is wearing black looking for new resources these days. boo to the civilisation and the civilized bitches. doom be.i am a stupid motherfcuker.if i die i die..

and as everyday ends, as my mango tree in my house get heavier i find my self dreaming of that little area called mylapore that i call home. when i go to chennai during sem holidays it feels weird. i guess after four years chennai is going to be really weird. hopefully i still like it. i know no routes now. have no friends there. i mean my 12th frnds-mostly lost touch , the close ones i still in touch, they are all either leaving to study further or going to other cities for work. so its me and parents.

i feel happy for amma. last year has been tough for her. with no one in the house. now when i get back i will get pampered. so any one else coming for the lamb of god concert? and i got so bored that i deleted my twitter account.am being all dramatic these days.booyakasha..


ps-if i have not commented on your blog or something i have either read yours and have nothing to say or i will eventually read and comment..


hare and the tortise

there was once a hare that boasted that it was the fastest creature on earth. the old and wise tortoise heard this and invited the hare for a race. the hare accepted the challenge with a sneer. the race would last for three days roughly. the race was flagged by the elephant. the hare took a good lead and decided to rest. it chanced upon a plant and decided it will burn it. burn it did. the hare got high. it imagined a million things. and it kept smoking the weed for hours together. the tortoise finally caught up with the hare and tried waking it up. said the hare"i know i can beat you.don't wake me up from this dream.let me be". and the tortoise went on to win the race. the hare had the best days of his life smoking the weed. and it went back to its place. with the big tortoise gone. the grass on the ponds bank,the tender ones-was all his. the tortoise died from exhaustion. and news got around that the hare was slower than the tortoise. so the tigers,lions and such creatures under estimated the hare. the hare happily got away. some lions believed they were loosing it and hence dint speak of the fast hare. the lioness dint want to be called a weirdo. so no one spoke of the fast hare. they always speak of the tortoise that beat the hare.



seek and destroy

if cruel eye brows bow
unbent ,would veil those glances now
the shafts that wound this trembling heart
her eyes no more would dart

glances of her liquid eyes
double witchery
one brings pain
the other heals it

disease and medicine
antagonists we surely see
but to this pain
she herself the remedy

withdraw it burns
approach it soothes
whence did this
wondrous fire obtain

thine eye is sad
hall doubtful hour of eventide
of cruel eye as hers
is too thy mine

farewell o moon
if that thine orb can shine
bright as her face
thou shouldst be my love

if it wasn't complexity then (it is now),i bow to you-the greatest of your kind. i still wonder what it is in woman that makes poets go all poetry. i mean some of the best tamizh movie lyrics and poems i have come across are about women and sex. no like the stupid katti pudi da song , but more like andhi mazhai types. subtlety. i love that. thaneeril nirkumbodhey verkindrathu.....juju and me had a matter song play list. the poetic subtle ones..i love literature when it talks of women and sex. not like in the erotic way but more in the poetic way.. death and sad stuff bring about simple worded poems..even that conical master. his best words are those describing woman and sex. this is a classical example of the education board fucking it up. they giving the boring parts of the poets words. and make us believe he is boring. but now when i sit and read his better words, those describing women..i know he is brilliant. dont the edu dept trust us 10th standard students to handle simple lines like the one above. or is it morally wrong for a textbook to carry it?

am getting bored too easily these days. even with loads of work to do. its that part of the year again. our college fest. last year full enthu we worked. hardly slept. designed posters, participated in everything we could..organised an event.. and what did it amount to?? fucked up feeling..allegations of cheating when you win fair and square..fights..left a sour taste..so this year nothing. just sit back and go bird watching..and i got leeds promoted from league one in fm. now struggling in championship. hopefully in a season or two will get them back to premiership..my life is that exiting right now..




when i was three years old i visited my grandparents in mylapore. big green house. a huge hall with the traditional oonjal in it. used to love rocking with my cousins. i loved that house. so many people. joint family and all. we lived in bhopal then. so after lunch thatha asks us all-what do you want to be when you grow up? answers like engg,doctor,teacher comes out.. apparently i said i wanted to be a Buffalo when i grow up.

they are one of my favorite animals. always at peace. emotions in control. no worries. slow, graceful. when they just stand in the middle of the street blocking honking angry bastards-i love them for that. when they go into some pond and come hours later with some plant on their horns. and they are black. i love staying in the water for hours. and i walk bloody slowly. guys who start from my house ten mins after i did, catch up half way through beat me and reach the college five mines before i do. anyways we had our farewell yesterday and thats official way of telling tata bye bye and all.

so there were people crying, hugging, taking a blood vow that we will meet in a year blah blah..guitar songs..crowd..you would believe all this if i was a tamizh movie director. our farewell sucked big time. just like the four years in my class room. to start with half the class dint turn up. job hunting and all such shitty reasons. the hotel was shitty. its was 5 star all rite. but food was only half decent. cramped dance floor. and everyone were blazers and all. and it was fucking hot. there were a total of two wearing a tee in that room. the dj and me the great. most girls wore a single piece knee length frock sorts. 10.30 programme and it dint start by 12.30. thankfully the hotel had open wifi.

so they had a few dances and all that shit. and then ball dance..can you believe how fucked up my batch is? they just reminded why i dint get along with that bunch. it was turned into an English movie prom. mushed and fucked it was. and the dj was pathetic. but once everyone went to eat ha played two metallica for me. to sit alone in that room and listen to all nightmare long -bliss man. no alcohol btw. for a place with repute food was just about ok. tasted everything. and then we had brownie with ice cream. i had about ten helping of that. that made my lunch. then dorks started reading four liners about some person, you guess the person and they give some card to that senior. this was getting fucked up. so i left mid way. i dint want to hear what they wrote about me. coz i dint know them and they dint know me.

and this farewell just summed up by four year classroom shit. me just wrong fellow in the wrong place. as they were dancing i was sitting alone. i never made friends in this class room. no one suited my taste. and i dont change mine so easily. come to think of it, its been the same trend since my childhood. take some time to meet the right band of people and then they regret it. coz i keep on yaberring. i always ended up finding some guys any where i went. i love meeting people. but i just dont hit it straight off i guess. here i found the right kind of people and they are my 12 room mates. we guys have spent more time in the rooms than the college. explains a lot. my proper farewell will be when i leave these guys. i would be sad then.

right now am happy am leaving this college. i have learnt a lot. changed a lot. but i sitll dont belong here. its not my class mates fault. they are all a big group and loved the time with each other. i just dint fit along. there are still people in my class who cant relate my name and my face. four years later yeah. i never talked with my class girls. there are still people i have never talked to in these four years. i hardly go to the college. proxy and a lenient hod saved me. i guess couple of girls in my class were worth talking to. but i never cared. these four years have been long. its good that i got so much time that i was able to do what i wanted to. no pressure whatsoever. parents who were happy as long i dint get arrears. after i get back i guess i will never talk again with any of my class mates.

its been kinda nice to see them from the outside. cheerful lot. so tata then dear class mates. it doesnt matter we dint make it. four years are over. we have done it. now we get along. and am really happy. i graduate in info tech from a nit and have landed with a it company with my first interview. in short i have achieved what i set out to become 17 years ago. a Buffalo.


ps-btw gate results came.i dont know by number. cant find hall ticket.booo



you know the myth stories?? where some guy sees to believe in god? i saw baiju play from half metre away. and now i too shall proclaim..baiju is god.

so we checked the general compartments of the howrah express,took survey and saw that the general compartment in the rear was less crowded. so when geethanjali express came we were waiting in the read. bloody crowded. so we ran for more than 22 compartments and just about got into the general compartment near the engine. no place.so we sat in the entrance step. some talk.music. slept off. since we went jagdalpur already we were broke. since the footy tournament was going and the civil and elec dept fest started only me and kuchi made it. its 12 hours to kolkata from raipur. anyways we reached kolkata. roamed around a bit. had a white bland watery fruit. then went on a ferry ride from the old bridge to the new bridge.then went to the venue-jadhavpur univ.

we were contemplating where to eat and where to smoke. we went in to the college. and they were rolling up joints. happy we went to a near by street , loads of eat out. bloody cheap. stuffed. and black cigg is only 80 here. so we went to venue. slowly crowd accumulated. its was like 4 guys 3 girls ratio. good things-no one was wearing pink or rose. girls werent fair. tan. after long time so many birds to gorge your eyes on. brilliant crowd actually. every where people were lighting up ciggs. and me and kuchi counted. about four girls dint smoke. every god damn girl was smoking. never expected that in a engg college in kolkata. a girls in dark blue tee was smoking so stylishly. waatha..anyways good for the eye. and never smoke 8 ciggs in half a day.usually half a day if i smoke at all.

concert got late as usual. irritating. coz 11.55 last train to raipur. we had to wait for 15 hours for the next train. so tension. opening act was machine shop.local band. good vocals and lead. rythm guitar not up scratch. but decent it was. metallica cover. and some originals. now this is why i dismiss most indian bands. coz they are not original. they strongly base themselves on one famous band. half the indian bands are either based on floyd or lz . ratm ,lp ,metallica the other major ones. that why i like motherjane. originality.

finally motherjane concert started. and baiju the god took over. crowd control was shit. so all broke the barriers and went totally near the stage. me and kuchi made it to the very front. we were like a half metre away from baiju and suraj. anywhere near we had to be on the stage. anyway all our fvrts were played. including broken. waatha.. what a man..baiju...instead of usual vande matram he played sare jahan se acha..was equally good..brilliant it was. finished at 10.45..neak break time..we got a motherjane t shirt..broke..that is to say whatever change we had..

taxi driver played nfs and navigated the 15 kms ina bout 20 mins. and kolkata staion has 23 fucking platforms. and our train was on the 23rd platform. had to run. and turns out that there is actually a proper line to get into the general compartment and all. just in time. we got in the line and got a seat. slept off peacefully. around 2am the all famed transvites of bengal woke the train up. fucked up the rest of the journey was. every two hour another set of transvite group will get on. we saw other get harassed and kicked badly. from my experience these are the worst set of the lot. the telugu ones you can dodge. these fuckers you cant. every person were made to cough up some. sincere advice to any one going kolkata-go in ac. not even second class. worth the money. these people should just be burnt. anyone who argues with me will be put in a room with five of these creatures and burnt alive. i have tried to see stuff from their angle and all such shit. wrote a big post once. but now lost patience. seek and destroy man. anways back to raipur. tired.legs swollen. so forfeited the match we had with meta dept. they have college team players. turns out the match was with electrical. winnable. anyways free. too tired..

few pics now. more pics when i feel better..

the bridge terry coudlnt fuck with..

baiju is god..first time i saw someone play the guitar like that in real and so close..i will cry if i see kirk like that..

suraj(who stage presence has improved a lit since i saw him first..), baiju and clyde..

for more pics-http://bit.ly/9MMKRD



up dates

life.do you believe in it? if you do you would believe in death too. but what about life after death? i mean more like resurrection..my laptop is back. i mean was back. it should a flicker of life. for a night. and it lays still now. but hope remains.

reading thirukural and bharathiyar of late. thiruvalluvar is sema matter man. and a genius. now that tamizh phrase vanalaviya pugazh?

i think life is going to be hectic from now on.yet to decide my major project.

one thing of many things i hate my batch for-we are not leaving behind anything for our juniors. when i talk to my juniors and see how sincere and enthusiastic they are i feel bad.

and 5s football tournament going on. our first match was against civil. 6 o clock morning match... 6.15 i dint have a team. not even five. so a guy who came to watch played for us. first time he is seeing football. when ref said goalkie he took it to the corner flag. we lost it 6 nil.. had some chances. could have scored two or three.

and arsenal porto match. after long time it was good to watch arsenal. nicklas hat rick, nasri sparkling and we are into the quarter finals of the champions league. bring it on man. as this match ended at 3.30 . a couple of hours later had to get up for another footy match. we had to play architecture. and yet again i was struggling to find five to represent the great IT branch archi turned up with ten and practised. we won 4-1.

on a rare occasion i tried to accelerate and was promptly hauled badly. thud. thank god for my hair. good buffer. one minute concussion. blurr. missed a chance. and i did go college. thats a rarity. ten mins into the period three guys asleep. two in the two corners of the last bench, one in the first bench. the three being the ones who played football. so the prof asked me to get up, asked questions. yes yes india is my country. and then he saw it fit to comment about my hairstyle. classmates decided to chip in and five mins they pulled my leg. fackers. i slept off again. came off after the second lecture.

and as i was coming off electronics girls were all standing out. and they are like openly pointing at my hair laughing and passing comments. i caught some of them. they are dead. plans are underway. stupid attu figures.

today manu-milan. milan will loose. that means i wont sleep before 4. and 6 we have match aginst mca. me is injured badly. of more than 55 players playing me the only one playing without studs. stud marks all over my foot. and cramps. bad state. but will play.

i stll cant understand. me very bad at football..but still nothing gives me joy like it does. strange. and i love playing with galy. poet that fellow is.

last three years hardly got any clothes. so my parents went on over drive. 25 t shirts..cargos jeans and all..and tons of chocolate. my fvrt after eight there too. thinking of going home.

and motherjane concert in kolkata. good that sreya put it up on facebook. me and kuchi are going. but we are broke. jagdalpur trip. so general class ride to kolkata. see. get back .no stay. should be fun.

its nice to have some money now. ordered books. now i got flipkart 40% off coupon. if any one wants ,do tell. and now i have warmed up want to do some heavy reading. recommend.

able to play the guitar much faster now. but need to tweak mine a bit.

am too jobless and bored. so tweeting from my pod a lot.

finally i see it.chetan bhagath . twat. i take back whatever i said about him. no wonder real writers feel insulted when cb calls himself one.

tried a different cig called more. real long. no bad smell. but its sappai. doesnt do what tobacco has to do. so black it is for now.

summers here.bad thing i need to take bath daily now. but ganna rass..should add rum and see how it tastes.

summer travel plan taking shape.


and as usual 100s of photos still unedited. i dont know when i am going to tend to them.

liking the looks of one junior. found out she is first year. more research needed. this is the fist girl who actually looks classy and still studies in my college. i hate fair skin.

and as days pass i find myself thinking of chennai. more and more. and hopefully a girl. its been boring of late.




note-this is going be long.photos.and coz there is nor proper guide on the net for this place. excuse spaces and spellings. typing this out itself ate up time and me has no patience..

jadgalpur-located in chattisgarh. capital of the bastar district. things bastar is famous for-naxals,kanger and indravati national park, waterfalls and caves, virgin forests, tribals.. its a beautiful place. the only problem and the biggest on at that is the naxals. all those who were chased away from andhra pradesh settled here. jungle. so its easy for them. on 26th jan five naxal lady suicide bombers were caught during the parade. loads of bombs strapped. they were stripped and paraded naked on the street. these is just so much bad blood between then. too many police men have been gunned down. but like i said its a beautiful place. heaven on earth. much better than the other indian forests and waterfalls.

day 0- day of the bhaang and colors. we guys get by 1 in the afternoon. laze around. decide to leave for jagdalpur around 7.30. only five of us. by 7 we promptly start the cajoling and bullying.by about 8 a party of ten leaves for the raipur bus stand. exactly one year back on the day of holi we were stranded in a tiny hill station in mp (pachmari) with no cell coverage and transport. somehow managed to get back that day. so we were prepared. hardly couple of busses. we choose the one with sleepers and get on.200 is the charge. the bus is good. we play cards for some time and then i fall asleep. i would later learn that our driver too decided to sleep, while driving one should add. we hit a tree.thankfully nothing bad happened. guys got down and helped the bus back on road. driver sleeps again during hair pin bend in ghat section. so bus is stopped for three hours and the driver sleeps. of course i dint know anything then. i slept off.

day 1-the drivers antics means we reach 3 hours late. the bus stand is small .its about 8.45. we lodge at the nearby udipi lodge. clean and cheap. ladies avoid. the canteen attached serves good south indian tiffin items. its around noon when we start. we hire a qualis. generally a day of sight seeing costs around 1500. so first we get to the forest department to pay the toll. then we head to kutumsar khufar(caves). its a nice drive. good stalagmites and stalactites formations. its a bit difficult to navigate the caves.


there is no light inside the caves.and i dint have a tripod.so not many shots were clear.brilliant formations.

a natural eye like formation..even the pottu is natural.high. they obv call it the devis eye..

no mabbu.still effict..me..

mama and soori..it was quite deep underneath them.ravine sorts..

and then we went to tirathgarh waterfalls. so this i guess is on the kanger river. not sure.anyways three big cascades. at the first cascade drop there are four small temples. getting to the second cascade is tough. the third cascade is actually the biggest one but we can not see it without getting to the second cascade.its a beautiful place. and from the third cascade starts the kanger national park. tigers, bear, constrictors and naxals abound here. whenever we plan a trip we try to include either a waterfall or a beach. we love water. in both forms. anyways this is tirathgarh is half its glory. the main seasons is September. when the monsoons work is done .

the first cascade..

of course when we went there it wasnt this great. we like idiots went in the off season..

but this has different type of advantage. so when you go to a waterfall you can either look at it and click pics, or get wet a bit and again click. but we are a bit crazy. so we went to the source and decided to trek along the water down till the first cascade. there was a board which said this was banned coz it was slippery and loose.

at the source..

and we start.as if trekking down was not crazy enough we carried by camera also. stupid yes. it came back safely...

half way thru..click enlarge and see if you can spot us all..two groups.. and crazy kutchi alone..

kuchi and me some where half way thru..

our version of the creature gollum-kuchi..hanging from a small stone. no idea how he go there..

the temple there..
and we finally leave..

then we head to chitrakoot. now this place is abut 50 kms from jagdalpur. fyi-its the biggest waterfall in asia. the ride was as usual awesome. beautiful.

and the sun was setting already. i was praying that it stays some where in sight till we reach chitrakoot. and he obliged. just about. so here is chitrakoot in its full glory.

this is situated on the river idravati. and here starts the indravati national park. you need to see to believe it power. and height. behind the tree quarter of the waterfall is blocked..just look at the water being sprayed to gauge power and height.

well when we went there was hardly any water..

and the light faded away fast..but they got lighting system and all..
just imagine this with the whole thing covered with water and lights. dark all around. would be stunning.

the ten of us who made it..

room mate soori..he thinks vellore is a city..ha

and we decided to come back the next day.the reason comes later..

day 2-we decide to take a guest house in the kanker park for the night so that we could go on a safari or something. or here comes the advice. first you need a good bold driver. and there are few. next when you go to the forest department the first reply is-there are no animals ,you cant see. its not worth it. dont believe them. keep pressing. they will send you to the director of the park. and he will openly tell you that of the three guest house only one is safe. the other two are vulnerable to a naxal attack. and during summer the fire squad uses it. so the way out? take the bold driver go to a forest guest house and bribe the people. we tried that. but that guest house already housed some researchers. bad luck for us. another way is to stay in the tribal village. and that is like suicide. tribals are on the naxals side. so they will inform them and you will be kidnapped and ransom..but if you could bribe the guard in the guest house and go out in the night you will get the proper feel of the jungle. i guess you will surely come across some wild things.

ok so we went to the local temple. this is the place to be for dusserah. they do the bhalidhaan during the festival. a tiger, bear and elephant are the poor things which are killed every year. and then they serve their meat. remember this is fully tribal in nature. a big and different type of celebration and totally worth it says our driver. so we first go to kailash ghufar. our driver has pure marijuana. and the jai bolenath device. he and the guard smoke it up. kuchi and me afraid,but sundar smokes it. and then they tell us their story. of naxals.

guard story-he and his seniors are planting bamboo polls on the road side. 8 in the morning. and naxals kidnap them. yes the officials included. they settle for 6000 ransom. so they send the guard to get the money.and he should not inform police. guard goes to fetch money. as he returns his kerosene lamp runs out of fuel. so he is late. naxals think he is gone to the police and beat him up. for five hours. the guard says that the male naxals are sometime lenient. the females are ruthless. they are huge. bloody huge. big boobs he said.they will strip and take bath in the river. but you cant enjoy it.coz they are getting ready to thrash you. bloddy hell he says.

driver story- first he was with the government. job in the election deparment. so s he takes along a ballot box to a tribal village , the naxals get him , burn the vehicle and thrash him. he quit his job. second time when he was working as a private driver they caught him again. detained him for one day without food or water. then they gave him tamarind water , took him deep in the jungle for a meeting , explained their ideals and goals. in short brain wash session and get the locals on the side. then they let him go. "i dont have any other bad habit. only marijuna" he says.. "i am an allrounder" smiles the guard..

then we went to the caves.now if you dont have proper lights with you you can never come out. its like indian jones cave. deep into the mountains. you can feel the lack of oxygen. we start sweating like the chennai water tap.and we settle down in a stage like place. the caves are brilliant. they light up another couple of joints. the driver goes on-during dusserah there is a sea of people here. dark. all sweating. womens clothes cling on to their body. and you can touch them in places. no one see anything. you know what i mean? the guard enjoys those spells"..the guard smiles..and then we saw the other parts of the caves and came out. scary the caves are..

and when you get back to the cave toll gates, notice another road going uphill. 29 kms uphill real bad roads ,you can go to the crocodile park. the advice is to stop 3 kms before the park , and trek the rest. this way the crocodiles wont get scared and you can see them nicely. just one wall and they are all in the river. no pens and all that. proper wild habitat. we couldnt make it. thats coz the toll gate closes at four. so go early to the kailash caves and then go to this park. the park is on the kanker river. something tells me it will be worth it.

near the forest guest house, kailash caves..

then we went chitrakoot again. this time i day light. the reason being this boat ride..

they take you right under neath the falls. this is only in the off season. during the season you cant even go near. anyways its a brilliant experience. that force..ten mts away you cant see,so much water rebounds .loved it.

near the falls..

the sunset there..

theres a guest house near chitrakoot..the gate of that hotel.. this is the chattishgarh tribal art..

and you know that ghenda pool song?? thats actually a chattisgarhi folk song.we took a bus back to raipur. this redefines the word air bus. rickety bus. bad roads. i was in the air half the time. some how made it back. overall range trip . last min . no plans. good fun. low on budget. cost us about on grand. and that element of danger. you could feel the whole naxal thing when you listen to stories of tributes being payed the ganja selling mafia family in gol bazar and more..

tourism scope in chattisgarh is tremendous. but first the naxals have to go. and then proper facilities. brilliant it is. and me vows to come back here for the dusserah onset within the next four years when chitrakoot is in her full glory. btw there are more waterfalls on the way to chitrakoot, they have water only during the season. thamd ghumar chitradhara and all. enquire well with the locals and go. and dont take no for an answer for the safari. take a risk and go. thats what makes it worthwhile.