varumaiyin niram sivapu

the colour of poverty is red .i thought it had something to do with karl or such shit

.or maybe blood .but its not .now i know what that red is .tomato .tomato juice to be precise.

so last week i had gupchup .big news right .except that i had for 10rs .daily .and thats all .nothing else .cook off for a week. daily evening gupchup. no money. and in extreme desperation i had raw tomato juice . its nice actually .so no solid food at all. except sunday where i busted my months balance in dominos. and i dont have a single paise for the rest of the month. now what makes this worse is my routine.its like see champions league match.that ends at 3.30 in the night. 4 before i sleep.mosquitoes means no sleep.6.30 shiva wakes me up and gym.get back by 8.30. infact after a months i had a bath this morning.its usually done in the evening after football.anyways somehow get to college.come back.fm,blog and all.then football.then normally bath.then ghupchup.more football on tv.hit the sack.i am famished.never my body has felt so weak.infact one night i just boiled cauliflowers and had them.such is my state .penniless.

you see in school me had enough money .sis gave me almost 100 a day. dad would give 200 r 300 a week. for a school going fellow who ate in joy,kapi kadai mcrenet and likes,this was enough. morever sathyam tickets cost 70 or 80. and the girl always had money. it was good then .but me always felt guilty .knowing how parents and all grew up. in cranky places with so many kids and hardly any special care .so when i was coming off for college i told my appa i wont need more than 2k per month. mad me. infact stupid. but i got typhoid when i came here. so end of first year my expenses were at 40k. ultra guilty. so from second year till now i never gone over board. of course extra money for trips and all. but i have learnt to live with this.

i like it this way. but downside-i cant hang out with chennai friends who were damn close. those poeple eat out all the time in good places,movies and all. all have loads of money. but me dint.and i cringed when someone else sponsored. end point? i hardly hang out with them now. sad.but what can i do. in that way i like my raipur gang. most of them with similar spending powers.

and these last three months have been bad. before i had those trips to nagpur for entrances .then mumbai trip where i blew a few k..and then in one day of madness i spent 10k from my credit card. fucked. and i told my dad he could cut 500 from the rest months money. he hasnt. my expenses out of hand. rajim trip ate up a bit. and i booked a few rajdhani tickets for amma .ate about a grand there. ah yes corruption.dad dint mind.

usually if i ask for 200 they put 500 .whenever i ask they will put money. but this pint sized human has everest sized ego.even with my appa.since second year i have resisted and never asked for extra.we have gone a few days with only ghupchup.when the world seemed cruel.i would somehow pick up change here and there and use that five to get cadbury. cant resist that.even that i havent had this week .fuck. i dont know where i get so much ego. like i was stranded in mumbai. no tickets.had to get back home. filthy rich uncle gets me an air ticket.me said no,told him i got train ticket .and i dint get one. so i ended up going to chennai from mumbai in general. 32 hours. i wonder what will happen when i start earning? will i get intolerably arrogant? like my cousins who i have come to hate.coz of whom i started hating it..

but i look forward to the earning part.money of my own.most of friends will study ,so i can spend as much as them. and its my money. and i can fill in my education loan which thankfully isnt much .i know appa will say no but i want to fill it myself .and i look forward to getting back to chennai. where my heart rests. where my body wants to rest .i want a life within means. bare minimum. and i have a job that lets me do that. in future too i have set a salaray cap for myself .never go above that.and dont buy stuff on loan .save and get. and never go out of india. for money.

infact never go outside chennai. one of my frniend in iitm,rejected relience(good money) coz it was not in chennai. he says he is prepared to go till koyembedu.(not even outskirts.its like inside).lol .such creatures we are. in love with city. just give me my idly and cd. and man put saatnee..

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ps-if any bastard shows the devils horn during the bsb shit during cock in india i swear on parmar i will kill and castrate them.fuck you dna

my name is saen

my name is saen.and am not a terrorist.i mean am not a bong Maoist.bloody am not a bong.am tamizh.bongs are sen and insane.i am saen.and my room mate is the nephew of the maoist leader of india.like for real.anyways on this beautiful day i had a strange dream involving ex,elephant cheetah and mowgli.so romantic.and they woke me up.all my roomies ready with shoes on and all.gate exam.so me gets ready and go to centre.boring.and just when the exams going to start my friend gujju and me feel hungry.so we bike out and eat jalebi.and fifteen mins late for exam.and some teacher tells us "hurry up.they have given out the paper." poor bugger.we dint have the heart to tell him why we were there.that gujju friend got into symbiosis and me got job.so end of world.anyways this is where day got irritating for me.

my college girl next to me.faack.so i sign and take the answer sheet.that signature and the one in my admit card dint match.worst.you see no two of my signatures have ever matched.i had problem with my credit card application too.so i was asked to wait and not start exam.seniors come.they ask me to sign five times.none of the five match.haiya.so then they asked for photo id.me gave license.signature on license and admit card dont match.more haiya.so they asked me write an application saying blah blah and all.i signed twice on the omr.and every two mins i got some guy or other asking me to sign on the admit card and try to match it.i was cross examined and all.fucked up.irritating.thats one hour over.here after kainaatu only.citizen.adhu..

next half hour i did the paper.sema comedy.dint know anything.so i finished paper in about tonty mins.examiner gets more suspicious.and then to while away time i started this..

comic..this is me trying it for first time.so putting it here.its ultra mokkai.worst.but still.and thatsmy best hand writing.anyways my blog.my cartoon.my life(ranger swing..)

will take some time to load..adjust.fucking airtel cheating us in the name of broadband,.

lame yes.but this is how my gate exam went.now checked key.turns out i did decently in the end.btw that eieieidowhat i say.its inspired by this.listen carefully.that casual attitude and all that.brilliant i say..

anyways after that we went to the new mall that opened.its big.biggest in central india or some shit like that.good.so much food.poor dominos.the lava cake not bad.but more richer chocolate might have done justice.we roamed discussed the interiors and all.bikaners opened too.nice.good chat.and pvr too.should catch mnik (khaawn..say it with a bit of mucus in your nose..khaawn..yes good).made fun of couples and girls.obviously.good day sir.good day.now i have two exams tomorrow.i dont know syllabus.dont have book.i have thousand things i want to write.but lazy.this week i will load daily.hopefully.not for some john mclaughin.and history.two posts for v-day.so how did it go?hopefully you all has shitty moody day locked up in a room.

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ps-btw when i left chennai i asked my amma to pack a soap.i just saw it today.dove.amma knows my taste.should ask her to find me a girl next year and marry that girl.

Ah, putrefaction

a flame. that is all there is .its now on the tip of its throne . throne on the table. table on a marble balcony looking over the adyar cooum river. two chairs. one with three legs and a stack of brick. the other with pins in the cushion. darkness around. a lifeless lump. another mass of boneless form. they sit on the chair. he holds up an ugly white rose. so ugly. and the flame wraps its self around the rose. purifying it of its ugliness. left behind is an ash ridden form of something indescribably beautiful. unearthly beautiful. and dear wind gives that beauty moksham. that frame just dint deserve something so beautiful. but you see love is something pure. a withered flower of ash matters not. and so the lifeless lump pulls out a ring. of platinum. black and ugly. but fear not. for the flame is there. and it wraps itself around the ring. yet again. you see the flame is never tired. it is its life's purpose. to purify. and it turns it into a ring of plutonium. now i cant describe the ring. for there is not enough time to observe. its just not there. the ring. just like the love it was to encompass. they might have been holding onto something. but it was no more there. but yet again it matters not. such is the power of love. food arrives. of dried leaves. those leaves who had tried to love. but were discarded. and they ate it. its tasteless said she. a general dose of cyanide from the small bottle that said salt. the flame,the sea breeze and the salt-how did they turn into cyanide..a good meal they said. they paid up. thousands. the flame smiled. more work. later as love engulfed them both ,the flame wrapped itself around them. fusing them into one. some might say its true love. and they smiled as one. the lifeless lump now had life. and the boneless had bones. finally. pity there was more life left in that room.

the next day the flame sits on its throne. ruling its kingdom. the throne melts away slowly. but as it melts the world around becomes its throne.for there so many people ready to burn.and the two burnt away lay some where.putrefaction.out of the ashes..

...........................

.am going to wear pink this sunday.like pink shirt,shiny pink pants. color my hair pink. listen to enrique and pintheru pasanga(bsb). have chocolate truffle. one pound. heart shaped. we have gate exam that day. for once i think the organisers have done something good. so all sit and study and write exam. thank god v-day is on a sunday.otherwise everyone in the campus will kill me. anyone who sends me text to wish their gf for their anniv will be shot. those who propose to propose will be stabbed in the heart. and i will vomit on their shoes too. of course i love valentines day. the whole concept. am not that much of a cynic you see. thats why i write about it. i love the concept of a day dedicated to celebrate love. one day of pure unadulterated love. we need more such days.bring it on i say..

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ps-whats that? an S..

pss-so terry gets the days off.much needed.and his wife his clever.takes him to dubai.one wrong mr.terry and that little bugger is gone.

baying of the hounds

all girls are bitches.all guys are sons of bitches..said my drunk room mate.it was kuchi bday on Saturday.so friday night a carton of beer and rum.and a mallu room mate went high.girls were the target.all his mail password is the name of his single crush.and more revelations.slashed after long time.twas nice.i planned to go to rajim kumbh alone to learn and click.but plan changed.so eight of us,four bikes,10 degree cold.last minute plan.we started around 10.30 in the night.drove the night.fucking cold.loved it.coz we couldnt get enough bikes i drove a cd 100.should have died five times.unintentional wheeling in a hair pin bend.got off.roamed rajim and nearby places.mahanadhi flows through it.some 270 kms ride in all.nice fun.few snaps are here.bah i have 100s of photos waiting.need to edit and then maybe upload a few.too lazy.and i spoke a bit with some baba who spoke of fire as life and veda as a lifestyle.i intend to go back for sivarathri.loads of babas.loads of marijuana.(used for worship).loads need to learnt.spoken.and we had cotton candy for break fast.

read another book-now that youre rich lets fall in love.stupid book not worth the time.been listening to dramatic shit of late.other than usual suspects i think schubert,mendelssohn,mussorgsky,rachmaninoff are brilliant too.and i saw two tamizh movies back to back.spoof ones.tamizh padam and goa.tamizh padam-range.cult movie.goa falls a bit flat after the mid riff.

and my latest crush-pia or whatever the spelling goes.the one in goa.and bloody premji girl in goa looks hot and beautiful.where did they get her.been playing guitar daily now.getting comparatively faster.and i have so much to write.but too lazy.playing football manager all the time.or book.and am broke already.any haiti funds will be appreciated.now going to read a romance with chaos.and blogging is getting bored.those who used to blog before blog no more.its mokkai.and yes why dint girls like pia study in my school or college.bloody hell.fuck arts.

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cemetery of the assymetrical heart

at the local store.buying stuff.mom and little kid comes.he mumbles.

"mama chaaket.."..the amma ignores..so let me teach this evil lady a lesson..i got a five rupee cadbury,with a meaningfull look at the amma ,i finished it there..now kid says it out loud.."mama chaaket".."its not good for your health beta"..what i had in the other hands was not healthy.. chocolate is perfectly healthy.. so i got another 10 rupee cadbury.this time add an evil look(i dont how to give it.just imagine) at the kid,another look at the mother.devoure.now kid is adampudichufying..the amma still unmoved..so i got a big temptation bar slowly unwrapping it,eating it slowly..looking from amma the the kid..kid looked from me to amma.. then flung himself to ground"chaakeet..chakeet.."..the cry without tears thing..full scene.passers giving the mother the look.the happy kid got a 5 rupee cadbury.i got one of the daartiest look.me very happy.kid got cadbury.

really i pity kids these days.dont eat this.dont eat that.not healthy.ice cream and chocolate are rare.so much to learn.so many to compete.i wish there are no babies for the next ten years.really.pavam.we just fuck one another,give birth and put them here.such shitty world.why even do that.let them not be born.we have enough.without ten batches all coaching schools will get fucked.stuff will change a bit.if it doesnt no more babies.let us do the job nature asks to do.to kill the world.the whole global warming thing ,humans are killing the world paranoia.thu.heard of gradual degradation?? thats what nature intended us to do.something thats that is so well designed you think there were no considerations for humans? of course.they have so much intelligence so that they will destroy and destruct.as we live without meaning any harm we are destroying the earth.what we are meant to do.let us do it peacefully my dear fellow beings.and lets not reproduce for fucks sake.why put a tiny innocent thing into such a world.full of temptations.and tell it not to reach out for it.

these days parents are fucking paranoid.every fucking thing they google,1000 people say 1000 thing and the parents will try to do every 1000 thing.so the kid never gets chocolate ice cream or to play in the heat.when my cousins give their kids to me they give a thousand instructions.thank you very much.you have your cutie kid to yourself.bah i feel blessed.my parents were never this fussy.we roamed around in bare feet.in the chennai heat.had the one rupee pepsi ice.pattai ice.and we are all fucking healthy.these kids will never get the immunity we people have.fucking paranoia.dont reproduce.its not the cruel world.its the cruel parents.no time for kids.

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