the essential guide to freeism

this is an edited version of an old post from an old now dead blog. back due to popular demand. why oh why..everyone needs to ask about free i still dont know. but here it goes..

free. a poorer version of om , in the meaning sense. million interpretations. can be used in any context. essential dav-ian culture. not unique to it. but largely originated from there. much before freeya vidu mamu song came out. so what does it imply generally? it implies what the Beatles tried to imply. let it be. no tensions. fight,exam,matter or football.. any mood. free. heavy dose of nonchalance. whatever is said before free just erase, replace. refresh. no grudges or anger whatsoever. fills up the awkward moment of silence when it arises. the beginning of nothing. the end of everything. free. implies all emotions other than anger. free means just drop it. full stop at times. a connector at times. use it everywhere and any where. it always fits. people might get irritated at first when you use free for everything. but the inductive power of free is unmeasurable. they will not only get used to it but they will start using it too. personal experience. my parents no exception. what other word comes close to such multi usageness.. fuck maybe. but its used by all. overused. and makes no sense when you say "cant find my fucking bag"..you know the best part of the philosophy of free?? it is the only philosophy which has no trace of hypocrisy. aint that the best quality in any philosophy? now i could go on about free for ever.. but still not do enough justice. so go ahead. use it. feel it. and then you will know what i mean. you will feel what i feel. and when you do that make sure you propagate this wonderful philosophy of life. for the world should feel what we feel.. most words mean have some significance and try to tell something.. but not free.. if your girl asks you if she looks pretty in the dress a yes or no will land you in a fight which will last minimum of 40 years.. but if you say free and let her substitute it with what ever she wants.. escope.. see.. no word like..


ps-the song that gives the feel of free..listen on..


doubting thomas

you know the story thing from three angles.this is one such.so let me start with the most famous one

Portuguese and english hybrid version-st.thomas came to india.time is bit debated.but some where around 4ad accepts our church.sees there are no Christians in india.injustice every where.so he preached around.started building six churches in kerala.all convert.even the highly respected namboodhri brahmins convert when meet our saint.then came to the prosperous village of thirumylai or mylapore as we call it.village full of brhamins and hence full of evils.thomas is introduced to king as a skilled carpenter.king gives st.thomas money to build a great palace.st.thomas being the saint he was gave money to the poor,healed many.king not happy.brahmins also not happy.so st.thomas is assassinated by a hindu(specifically brahmin) on a deserted hill just outside mylapore.st.thomas was peacefully praying to the cross then.so as he was slayed , bleeding st.thomas hugs the church and dies a martyr.he is burried there.later when Portuguese come and say hey lets build a great cathedral on the beach and bury st.thomas .he deserves it.so they try to do it.but hindus dont allow.they pray to jesus.god sends hurricane.kapaleeshwarar temple destroyed by hurricane.build church in beach (and not in the site of the old kapalesshwarar temple but nearby)when the Portuguese come to power.so the santhome cathedral and the st.thomas mount becomes sacred places.in 1986 pope visits these places.most Christians in india identify themselves as st.thomas christians.

other version given by hindu "scholars"-a merchant named thomas lands in india.around 1600s.syrian christians peacefully co-exist with other religions till then.infact Christianity came to india even before europe adopted it.such the power of trade.but portuguese dont like this.trade and religion they use to win land.but for them to spread their version of christianity they need some hold.so step up thomas the merchant.the story of st.thomas in reinvented.they go around spreading false stories.they get a martyr who spread love and peace and brahmins killed him.st.thomas himself choose india and he is a martyr.what a power full vessel that was.so many convert.they come to mylapore.large number of brahmins.they not able to convert them.so they claim that st.thomas was actually buried near the walls of the kapaleeshwarer temple.not the new one we see now.the original temple.that which was on the beach,was recorded as early as 1ad,really old big grand and so on.many poets sing about it.historical records all there.so they claim st.thomas is buried there.fight brakes out.king says no fight.lets dig up a bit.they dig it.bones.christians cry st.thomas. hindus say its a chozhan king who was given the honour.they show records on the temple walls.finally compromise.christians build a small shrine next to the temple.slowly they keep expanding it.and when Portuguese come to power they bomb and destroy the temple.and the church is built right on that site.and there was a hill called brinji malai. sage brinji lived there.so when rama was going to ceylon he came to get blessings.on sage advice rama stayed,prayed and all that.so that hill sacred place for hindus. all the hindu settlements were just destroyed and was named mount thomas and another church built over it.

historically supported version.one with historical evidence-to start with there is no evidence whatso ever that st.thomas came to india.none whatso ever.thomas the merchant is recorded.syrian christians are well recorded.stories of big temples being destroyed and churches being built upon recorded in kerala.ASI confirms that.and says that the church exists exactly over the old temple site.there is another church over temple case in nearby luz.but thats by the english.one damning evidence comes from pondicherry. the vedapuri eshwaran temple is destroyed and st.paul church is built.a proper written record of how this happen is available.it says shrine near temple built,shrine grows and commits nonsensical acts like throwing garbage and meat into adjoining temple campus.slowly big fight breaks out.hindus go to guvner.guvner says worry not dear people.so loads of guards put around the temple.that night temple is bombed and destroyed.guards prevent people from going near.many people die trying to prevent it.then the church is built over it.hourly updates of the destroying event are available.it is accepted that this model was quite standard.of course not all churches were built like this.but famous temples were destroyed and built upon.this is agreed by historians.so there is no evidence of st.thomas coming mylapore or rather india or all that matter.and kapaleeshwarer temple existed in that spot for thousands of years.the present one is dated at about 350-375 years old.built in vijayanagara style which is comparatively new,land given by arcot nawab.deeds were legally done.the new temple was actually an extension of an already existing small muruga temple.as a thankyou to the nawab for giving land,every year temple closes back door for a day.the nawab family celebrates some festival in the tank where they put stuff in water and pray.that is to say muslims and hindus lived at peace with each other in this part.most outside indian historians go with the hindu version so far.

due to the tsunami a few pieces of sculptures were found in the santhome church cathedral premises. it is said to belong to the original kapaleeshwarer temple.hindus wanted it so that it can be returned to the new premises.but it went straight into the cathedral museum.not open to public section.coz if that is given out it means admission that the temple existed there(i still cant figure that).you see there is a piece on the east wall of the cathedral which has really old chozhan inscriptions.it is claimed it belongs to the original temple.but church says some stone just had random inscription and was used to build.what baffles me here is how ASI dint confiscate the discovered stuff.i think legally it belonged to them.anyways they wanted the stones for the temple.

church got insecure.so it asked the vatican to declare that st.thomas is officially buried in the santhome church.if thats done the church can be encroached or destroyed.but the vatican dint do it.infact it declared that there is no evidence that st.thomas visited india,nor any of the apostles did.it also says st.thomas is buried in europe as per its legal records.it says he died a peaceful death.so santhome church got tension.and guess what they are trying to do??a mega budget movie.80 crores has been touted.one that will show st.thomas landing in kerala,preaching,getting killed on mount thomas.the church head was giving this announcement.then he says the movie will also involve thiruvalluvar.i was confused.he went on and says this "thiruvalluvar is actually disciple of st.thomas.he gave thiruvalluvar all the wisdom and taught him the bible.and asked thiruvalluvar to write a tamizh version based on the teachings of the bible so that common man will benifit.so thiruvalluvar wrote thirukural".when i heard this first i was amused to no ends.really??am actually confused.are the church people really that idiotic or takes to be such idiots??FYI-thiruvalluvar lived in 1bc.and santhome church version says st.thomas came to india in 4bc.of course it does not matter for the church.

and let me tell you why this is ultra baffling.some years back the church was in tatters.it had to be renovated.few crores needed.govt dint help coz it dint come under certain act.so they asked for donations.we gave 1k.loads of local people contributed.coz its part of our locality.and its beautiful.i love that place.so church is repaired.there is one mr.paul dinakaran.google him.speaks and preaches the lords name.heals it seems.he unofficially owns billions.literally.like he has a private jet hanger and all that.bloody rich.i know that for sure.he dint cough a penny.and now church says 80 crore budget movie.wow.

and are they afraid that we will destroy the church if temple old temple location is determined properly?come on we are not ayodhya monsters.contrary to popular north indian beliefs we chennai people are lazy peace loving and rajnikanth loving.anyways why is the church so insecure.and the movie.bloody hell.if they try to show some religion gave thiruvalluvar wisdom i will castrate them.wtf?? bastards who do they think they are.just like that keep on claiming?if the movie goes ahead i wont be pleased.and i think i wont be alone.

and one more thing media.i have heard many claims that the media is biased.not in the way you think.more along religious lines.you see most major papers are owned by christian missionaries.including the hindu.this i already knew.so when this whole thing happened the hindu choose to remain silent.when a book was released by some hindu fellow on this the hindu refused to review this.when a christian fellow wrote his version of the story as a book it was reviewed.this i have heard.i can not confirm this of course.hindu is my fvrt paper.in my eyes largely non partial.its religion column has always been the butt of jokes in my family gatherings.its been ridiculed.but i dont care about it.but if they are actually biased i will be disappointed.i hope not.

anyways is it impossible for you to say something in this indian society and not being questioned if you are hindu or chirstian or rich or poor.is it possible to be really non partial and look at things??

i read a few books and have written this based on them.if i am wrong ,its coz the books are.so let me know if somethings wrong.i cant find the online version of the christian authored book about santhome cathedral history and st.thomas story.but i found the hindu version one against it.its long.but its fully of details and historical evidence.take a look.this is the book that hindu apparently refused to review.the introduction is here. the book is here .


ps-btw if anyone says you wrote this coz ur hindu or something, castration only.i dont like Hinduism.more on that later.anyways i read both sides of the argument as non partially a human can and wrote this.thasall.no offense if any.

pps-is it too long?or did you just scroll down here..



four years .shimmering lights .movies.millions of them .together .pop corn .mood matching and mood changing songs .football .photos .another million .i dont know if i have spent more time with anyone else in the last four years .discoveries and research together .remember when you were the best thing that happened when we were in first year hostel .not knowing anyone .alienated .and then you came along .i dont know what i would have done without you .you helped me discover new worlds .you were the sole witness to that bitter break up .i know i have let you down a few times .but later i always did what should have been done to put it right .after all i am human too and thats my saving grace .remember all the rides to new places .i can safely say the so called artistic abilities i have how so ever low they are are down to you .and porn .my god .remember the 10 gb celeb clips project .couldnt have done it without you .we were speaking about it yesterday also .its one of the best collection there is .so after all this why did you leave me .tired? or bored? i know its a cruel world .but you cant just give up you know .remember that lotr dialogue?? "the folks kept on going on mr.frodo.coz they were holding on to something"..i was always holding on to you .i never wanted to let you go .i know your health wasnt that good .but this is not just the way to go .without a whimper .in the dead of the night .you were always dramatic remember? i always imagined you going out with flames and all .like i said dramatic .not like this .slipping into coma and then death .now you are gone i dont know what to do .how will i spend the rest of three months in this place? what will i do when i come back from college? its been just 24 hours and i already miss you .but i wont leave it here .i believe in black magic .i will resurrect you .no matter what it takes .roster blood or chetan bhagath blood .rest in peace till then dear brother .when they tell our story let them say we walked with giants .processors rise and fall like the winter wheat ,but your name will never die .let them say i lived in the time of hp,the shittiest laptop service ever .let them say i lived in the times of pavilion laptops,the faultiest of them all .four years ago i got you for 60k and you still are the best config out in the market .respect

RIP dv2122tu. you shall be missed.specially in this time of recession and desperation.


ps-till then i will surf the net with my ipod.can anyone suggest a good application for blogs?cant find one.safari doesnt show the scroll in the blog feeds.so less of blogs till then.tata

pps-one of my fvrt bharathiyar songs..the brilliant earthsync group..


varumaiyin niram sivapu

the colour of poverty is red .i thought it had something to do with karl or such shit
.or maybe blood .but its not .now i know what that red is .tomato .tomato juice to be precise.

so last week i had gupchup .big news right .except that i had for 10rs .daily .and thats all .nothing else .cook off for a week. daily evening gupchup. no money. and in extreme desperation i had raw tomato juice . its nice actually .so no solid food at all. except sunday where i busted my months balance in dominos. and i dont have a single paise for the rest of the month. now what makes this worse is my routine.its like see champions league match.that ends at 3.30 in the night. 4 before i sleep.mosquitoes means no sleep.6.30 shiva wakes me up and gym.get back by 8.30. infact after a months i had a bath this morning.its usually done in the evening after football.anyways somehow get to college.come back.fm,blog and all.then football.then normally bath.then ghupchup.more football on tv.hit the sack.i am famished.never my body has felt so weak.infact one night i just boiled cauliflowers and had them.such is my state .penniless.

you see in school me had enough money .sis gave me almost 100 a day. dad would give 200 r 300 a week. for a school going fellow who ate in joy,kapi kadai mcrenet and likes,this was enough. morever sathyam tickets cost 70 or 80. and the girl always had money. it was good then .but me always felt guilty .knowing how parents and all grew up. in cranky places with so many kids and hardly any special care .so when i was coming off for college i told my appa i wont need more than 2k per month. mad me. infact stupid. but i got typhoid when i came here. so end of first year my expenses were at 40k. ultra guilty. so from second year till now i never gone over board. of course extra money for trips and all. but i have learnt to live with this.

i like it this way. but downside-i cant hang out with chennai friends who were damn close. those poeple eat out all the time in good places,movies and all. all have loads of money. but me dint.and i cringed when someone else sponsored. end point? i hardly hang out with them now. sad.but what can i do. in that way i like my raipur gang. most of them with similar spending powers.

and these last three months have been bad. before i had those trips to nagpur for entrances .then mumbai trip where i blew a few k..and then in one day of madness i spent 10k from my credit card. fucked. and i told my dad he could cut 500 from the rest months money. he hasnt. my expenses out of hand. rajim trip ate up a bit. and i booked a few rajdhani tickets for amma .ate about a grand there. ah yes corruption.dad dint mind.

usually if i ask for 200 they put 500 .whenever i ask they will put money. but this pint sized human has everest sized ego.even with my appa.since second year i have resisted and never asked for extra.we have gone a few days with only ghupchup.when the world seemed cruel.i would somehow pick up change here and there and use that five to get cadbury. cant resist that.even that i havent had this week .fuck. i dont know where i get so much ego. like i was stranded in mumbai. no tickets.had to get back home. filthy rich uncle gets me an air ticket.me said no,told him i got train ticket .and i dint get one. so i ended up going to chennai from mumbai in general. 32 hours. i wonder what will happen when i start earning? will i get intolerably arrogant? like my cousins who i have come to hate.coz of whom i started hating it..

but i look forward to the earning part.money of my own.most of friends will study ,so i can spend as much as them. and its my money. and i can fill in my education loan which thankfully isnt much .i know appa will say no but i want to fill it myself .and i look forward to getting back to chennai. where my heart rests. where my body wants to rest .i want a life within means. bare minimum. and i have a job that lets me do that. in future too i have set a salaray cap for myself .never go above that.and dont buy stuff on loan .save and get. and never go out of india. for money.

infact never go outside chennai. one of my frniend in iitm,rejected relience(good money) coz it was not in chennai. he says he is prepared to go till koyembedu.(not even outskirts.its like inside).lol .such creatures we are. in love with city. just give me my idly and cd. and man put saatnee..


ps-if any bastard shows the devils horn during the bsb shit during cock in india i swear on parmar i will kill and castrate them.fuck you dna


my name is saen

my name is saen.and am not a terrorist.i mean am not a bong Maoist.bloody am not a bong.am tamizh.bongs are sen and insane.i am saen.and my room mate is the nephew of the maoist leader of india.like for real.anyways on this beautiful day i had a strange dream involving ex,elephant cheetah and mowgli.so romantic.and they woke me up.all my roomies ready with shoes on and all.gate exam.so me gets ready and go to centre.boring.and just when the exams going to start my friend gujju and me feel hungry.so we bike out and eat jalebi.and fifteen mins late for exam.and some teacher tells us "hurry up.they have given out the paper." poor bugger.we dint have the heart to tell him why we were there.that gujju friend got into symbiosis and me got job.so end of world.anyways this is where day got irritating for me.

my college girl next to me.faack.so i sign and take the answer sheet.that signature and the one in my admit card dint match.worst.you see no two of my signatures have ever matched.i had problem with my credit card application too.so i was asked to wait and not start exam.seniors come.they ask me to sign five times.none of the five match.haiya.so then they asked for photo id.me gave license.signature on license and admit card dont match.more haiya.so they asked me write an application saying blah blah and all.i signed twice on the omr.and every two mins i got some guy or other asking me to sign on the admit card and try to match it.i was cross examined and all.fucked up.irritating.thats one hour over.here after kainaatu only.citizen.adhu..

next half hour i did the paper.sema comedy.dint know anything.so i finished paper in about tonty mins.examiner gets more suspicious.and then to while away time i started this..

comic..this is me trying it for first time.so putting it here.its ultra mokkai.worst.but still.and thatsmy best hand writing.anyways my blog.my cartoon.my life(ranger swing..)

will take some time to load..adjust.fucking airtel cheating us in the name of broadband,.

lame yes.but this is how my gate exam went.now checked key.turns out i did decently in the end.btw that eieieidowhat i say.its inspired by this.listen carefully.that casual attitude and all that.brilliant i say..

anyways after that we went to the new mall that opened.its big.biggest in central india or some shit like that.good.so much food.poor dominos.the lava cake not bad.but more richer chocolate might have done justice.we roamed discussed the interiors and all.bikaners opened too.nice.good chat.and pvr too.should catch mnik (khaawn..say it with a bit of mucus in your nose..khaawn..yes good).made fun of couples and girls.obviously.good day sir.good day.now i have two exams tomorrow.i dont know syllabus.dont have book.i have thousand things i want to write.but lazy.this week i will load daily.hopefully.not for some john mclaughin.and history.two posts for v-day.so how did it go?hopefully you all has shitty moody day locked up in a room.

ps-btw when i left chennai i asked my amma to pack a soap.i just saw it today.dove.amma knows my taste.should ask her to find me a girl next year and marry that girl.


Ah, putrefaction

a flame. that is all there is .its now on the tip of its throne . throne on the table. table on a marble balcony looking over the adyar cooum river. two chairs. one with three legs and a stack of brick. the other with pins in the cushion. darkness around. a lifeless lump. another mass of boneless form. they sit on the chair. he holds up an ugly white rose. so ugly. and the flame wraps its self around the rose. purifying it of its ugliness. left behind is an ash ridden form of something indescribably beautiful. unearthly beautiful. and dear wind gives that beauty moksham. that frame just dint deserve something so beautiful. but you see love is something pure. a withered flower of ash matters not. and so the lifeless lump pulls out a ring. of platinum. black and ugly. but fear not. for the flame is there. and it wraps itself around the ring. yet again. you see the flame is never tired. it is its life's purpose. to purify. and it turns it into a ring of plutonium. now i cant describe the ring. for there is not enough time to observe. its just not there. the ring. just like the love it was to encompass. they might have been holding onto something. but it was no more there. but yet again it matters not. such is the power of love. food arrives. of dried leaves. those leaves who had tried to love. but were discarded. and they ate it. its tasteless said she. a general dose of cyanide from the small bottle that said salt. the flame,the sea breeze and the salt-how did they turn into cyanide..a good meal they said. they paid up. thousands. the flame smiled. more work. later as love engulfed them both ,the flame wrapped itself around them. fusing them into one. some might say its true love. and they smiled as one. the lifeless lump now had life. and the boneless had bones. finally. pity there was more life left in that room.

the next day the flame sits on its throne. ruling its kingdom. the throne melts away slowly. but as it melts the world around becomes its throne.for there so many people ready to burn.and the two burnt away lay some where.putrefaction.out of the ashes..
.am going to wear pink this sunday.like pink shirt,shiny pink pants. color my hair pink. listen to enrique and pintheru pasanga(bsb). have chocolate truffle. one pound. heart shaped. we have gate exam that day. for once i think the organisers have done something good. so all sit and study and write exam. thank god v-day is on a sunday.otherwise everyone in the campus will kill me. anyone who sends me text to wish their gf for their anniv will be shot. those who propose to propose will be stabbed in the heart. and i will vomit on their shoes too. of course i love valentines day. the whole concept. am not that much of a cynic you see. thats why i write about it. i love the concept of a day dedicated to celebrate love. one day of pure unadulterated love. we need more such days.bring it on i say..

ps-whats that? an S..
pss-so terry gets the days off.much needed.and his wife his clever.takes him to dubai.one wrong mr.terry and that little bugger is gone.


baying of the hounds

all girls are bitches.all guys are sons of bitches..said my drunk room mate.it was kuchi bday on Saturday.so friday night a carton of beer and rum.and a mallu room mate went high.girls were the target.all his mail password is the name of his single crush.and more revelations.slashed after long time.twas nice.i planned to go to rajim kumbh alone to learn and click.but plan changed.so eight of us,four bikes,10 degree cold.last minute plan.we started around 10.30 in the night.drove the night.fucking cold.loved it.coz we couldnt get enough bikes i drove a cd 100.should have died five times.unintentional wheeling in a hair pin bend.got off.roamed rajim and nearby places.mahanadhi flows through it.some 270 kms ride in all.nice fun.few snaps are here.bah i have 100s of photos waiting.need to edit and then maybe upload a few.too lazy.and i spoke a bit with some baba who spoke of fire as life and veda as a lifestyle.i intend to go back for sivarathri.loads of babas.loads of marijuana.(used for worship).loads need to learnt.spoken.and we had cotton candy for break fast.

read another book-now that youre rich lets fall in love.stupid book not worth the time.been listening to dramatic shit of late.other than usual suspects i think schubert,mendelssohn,mussorgsky,rachmaninoff are brilliant too.and i saw two tamizh movies back to back.spoof ones.tamizh padam and goa.tamizh padam-range.cult movie.goa falls a bit flat after the mid riff.

and my latest crush-pia or whatever the spelling goes.the one in goa.and bloody premji girl in goa looks hot and beautiful.where did they get her.been playing guitar daily now.getting comparatively faster.and i have so much to write.but too lazy.playing football manager all the time.or book.and am broke already.any haiti funds will be appreciated.now going to read a romance with chaos.and blogging is getting bored.those who used to blog before blog no more.its mokkai.and yes why dint girls like pia study in my school or college.bloody hell.fuck arts.



cemetery of the assymetrical heart

at the local store.buying stuff.mom and little kid comes.he mumbles.
"mama chaaket.."..the amma ignores..so let me teach this evil lady a lesson..i got a five rupee cadbury,with a meaningfull look at the amma ,i finished it there..now kid says it out loud.."mama chaaket".."its not good for your health beta"..what i had in the other hands was not healthy.. chocolate is perfectly healthy.. so i got another 10 rupee cadbury.this time add an evil look(i dont how to give it.just imagine) at the kid,another look at the mother.devoure.now kid is adampudichufying..the amma still unmoved..so i got a big temptation bar slowly unwrapping it,eating it slowly..looking from amma the the kid..kid looked from me to amma.. then flung himself to ground"chaakeet..chakeet.."..the cry without tears thing..full scene.passers giving the mother the look.the happy kid got a 5 rupee cadbury.i got one of the daartiest look.me very happy.kid got cadbury.

really i pity kids these days.dont eat this.dont eat that.not healthy.ice cream and chocolate are rare.so much to learn.so many to compete.i wish there are no babies for the next ten years.really.pavam.we just fuck one another,give birth and put them here.such shitty world.why even do that.let them not be born.we have enough.without ten batches all coaching schools will get fucked.stuff will change a bit.if it doesnt no more babies.let us do the job nature asks to do.to kill the world.the whole global warming thing ,humans are killing the world paranoia.thu.heard of gradual degradation?? thats what nature intended us to do.something thats that is so well designed you think there were no considerations for humans? of course.they have so much intelligence so that they will destroy and destruct.as we live without meaning any harm we are destroying the earth.what we are meant to do.let us do it peacefully my dear fellow beings.and lets not reproduce for fucks sake.why put a tiny innocent thing into such a world.full of temptations.and tell it not to reach out for it.

these days parents are fucking paranoid.every fucking thing they google,1000 people say 1000 thing and the parents will try to do every 1000 thing.so the kid never gets chocolate ice cream or to play in the heat.when my cousins give their kids to me they give a thousand instructions.thank you very much.you have your cutie kid to yourself.bah i feel blessed.my parents were never this fussy.we roamed around in bare feet.in the chennai heat.had the one rupee pepsi ice.pattai ice.and we are all fucking healthy.these kids will never get the immunity we people have.fucking paranoia.dont reproduce.its not the cruel world.its the cruel parents.no time for kids.