so it starts

i had a tub of black Belgium chocolate ice cream. a small bucket cost 300. it still lays open. like a half finished love affair. why would anyone compare a book to a love affair? i have a book half open.. or rather a page some where near the half way mark, is now open on a cheap muffin tablet. it was chance that brought this cheap tablet to me. this had originally belonged to a company which tried to sell hotel feedback software in tablets to India high class hotels. obviously the company folded. and it payed it employees in ipads and cheap android tablets. two such android tablets ended up with a Chennai sales man, who in turn started up with my friend and is now my new room mate. and he said these were use less and now its all mine. revived. am using it to read books. i had read a small quantity of books earlier in school. but frankly, i have never been a book kind of person. they take time, patience, slowly unraveling over 300 or 400 pages. its the unraveling which keeps the bookies to the books. and the other bookies to the crooks. i do not have that kind of patience. because when i do, i rather write. write such possible pages. there is a joy in being able to write so clearly in a language which does not belong to my land. no sir, we have our own language.. yes just our state.. our small race of people.. so that our failings and sadness stays with in our people.. but we built good temples, so that the tourists saw only happy things. the sadness lay in the words. and that's the problem with books. with books you can describe sadness in all the dimensions you want to encompass it in. and so you can get depressed with books. generally people who read a lot, they are introvert kind of guy or way too hyper. you don't see normal guys like us read books. yet i am suddenly hooked to books. i am laying down and reading. thats how i used to read. i remember very well, when i was in 9th standard i got hooked to a book my aurbindho..have never read anything that complex.. on the corner of the bed, with my legs vertically up against the wall.. and my upper body being my lower.. i keep the book cover facing the ceiling and read on.. or i lay in my living room floor and keep my feet on the sofa and read on.. but i hate going out to buy books.. i always borrowed.. i have read so many football biographies, but all was borrowed. and i hate books. no feel.. no smell.. and you need to read it sitting, from my desktop.. aargh it kills.. but now the tablet.. i am back to my old legs against the wall and tablet screen facing the floor.. and the ciggarrette lay in my mouth.. it has lay there for the last 4 hours.. unlit.. i am trying to cut down.. before it cuts me down.. the last three years have been as toxic as a man drinking grease every day morning . but smoking is an art.. an experience.. and i believe everyone should go through the smoke,addict and quit cycle. and i read this catcher in the rye.. and then i shall read woodhouse or what ever he is called.. whats all the hype about.. i still prefer movies. not as much as music, but just after music. but books might not be bad, as there are so many original stories already for a lifetime. whereas music and movies, the ones you see usually suit your taste. it takes 2 minutes to find out. but a book. even if its a bad book, you will read on for alteast half an hour. and may be thats a good alternative to ciggs, when i need a break..a half finished book is a half finished bath. you dont feel sad like you feel with a half finished love affair. you feel dirty, for not finishing the author. not respecting his effort. yes, he dint ask you to read. but now that you have picked up the book, as well as finish it off no?

so now i am in a new room, with a new room mate. i like this constant shifting. the room is perfect. its on the terrace of an independent house. loads of big windows which keep the room bright. and the left of the terrace is covered in false roofing. and then the solitude. i always wanted to experience this. no human contact for a week. but i think i need people around me, all the time. loneliness sucks man. and here go the pictures, of the old and new room. never leave behind anything or anyone without saying good bye. you own them that much..

Delhi is beautiful in the winters..

the view from my old room..

its raining again..

the shop in my old apartments

the view from my new room..
 old neighbor..

new neighbor..

And all this becomes clear. too clear that it is annoying. the separation between idealism and realism is just an illusion. as RF says "My life extends far beyond the limitations of me". Change has to be. Change it for all. Change it for him. Change it for her. And change everything.

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