s was a good friend. he was quite normal. maybe he was in self absorbed delusion all the time. but thats normal right?
s was also abnormal. he himself was never sure why he was so. his problem was simple. he just thought too fast. he never knew why. as someone spoke the words he would have already known all possible situations and outcomes. he was quite fast that he used to surprise himself. as the teacher wrote the problem on board, he would have known the program to key in. this made things ridiculously easy and he was never interested in much things. it made him a bad person. because of his boeing mind, he used to overlook things and let his mind take off to unknown island of thoughts.and imagine a whole new world. so he made mistakes. he foresaw it. but by that time, his mind had shifted to something else- by the time the situation he had thought through became reality, he would have forgotten thinking about it. he would made some obvious mistakes he knew would happen and would have reminded his mind not to make. but now the mind was some where else. he could never concentrate on a single thing at a time. he was a bad person overall.
his fast mind lost him his youth.he had already lived his youth when he five and six. he had never looked or behaved his age. this also made him angry,irritated & frustrated. as a kid he used to do something. when his appa went off to office and his mother had taken a afternoon nap- he would take that day's newspaper and start tearing it into small small pieces. he used to lie every time he made a mistake. because he knew what was going to happen. it made him a bad kid. when his aunt caught him and his cousin with dirty broom sticks, he knew he was in trouble and within a nano second he would cook up a lie and get away. no one got this part about him.years later he lamented this fact. but his parents knew something was wrong. they took him to auroville. there a french doctor took care of him. she was very gentle was able to instill some sort of control over his mind. his teachers there were quite surprised. he knew so much at such a young age. but he could never pass any exam. they tried to teach him yoga to control his mind. dint work. he couldnt keep his mind a clean slate even for a second.
he used to make mistakes. because when he did something he dint think about it. he had already thought about it but it was forgotten. he had a bad bad memory. but alas it was fast. it lost him this one girl who almost understood him. but i couldnt pity him at any point. he used to quarell with anyone around him when he made mistakes. because he was frustrated. he couldnt understand it was human to make mistakes. he was not a human most of the times. he would never listen to you. you would have wanted to share some worry with him. but his mind would have wandered out some where else. i dont know if i can blame him for that. he used to speak a lot because he use to think a lot. and he would speak as he would think.
overall he was a bad friend. when he moved out of a city he used to forget the city and its people. only ever if he needed something he would remember them. even when he was full of himself he never opened up to anyone. because he was thinking of something else. but there come a stage when he was 10th and no school would take him for 11th. because he never did anything in school. he failed all the exams. but his teachers knew he had learnt what they thought him. eventually some school took him in. there was a good teacher there. he failed her first paper. she somehow understood him. she told himt he will have to take extra classes. he was forced to. but there she never thought him what the cbse wanted her to. she just talked to him. and it helped. for the first time he recognized what he was. he found wonderful friends there. he was changing. and it was bloody difficult. he couldnt control his mind. not yet.
he tunred to the hafflinfgs leaves. even the fulllings. he learnt for the first time he could slow down his mind. just about a bit. he became a chain smoker. people used to scold him for that. but he dint care. he started working and he was for the first time able to concentrate. on a single thing. just for about a minute. but this an improvement right? he still was making mistakes. here too it will take his team guys time to understand him. and by that time he would have moved on and forgotten them. and them him. he used to smoke and one minute after that he would be able to think of just one thing. his mind worked slow and normal. and then that one minute was gone and he was himself again. making mistakes. and then hate himself for that.
yesterday i was drinking with him.for the first time he accepted all this. he lameneted his life. and then he got hit by something heavy moving vehicle. he was hit badly and struggling for life. i knew it. there was so much blood. and i knew his mind would still be thinking about something. it was short circuiting. suffering. and i knew i should not save him. he had suffered a lot already. like a movie character in a time travel, where he had to die young. because there are always reasons which you can never know about. he might have known. and forgotten. and as he lay bleeding on the NH-8 i left him there and walked back home. a crowd had gathered and he was taken to a hospital. he is just about alive. but i hope with all my heart that he dies. and be in peace at last. for once his mind should have no thoughts in it. just blank. but i have hoped for lot of things for him and it had never happened. i am sure he will be back. i just hope he would have changed by then.
free
s was also abnormal. he himself was never sure why he was so. his problem was simple. he just thought too fast. he never knew why. as someone spoke the words he would have already known all possible situations and outcomes. he was quite fast that he used to surprise himself. as the teacher wrote the problem on board, he would have known the program to key in. this made things ridiculously easy and he was never interested in much things. it made him a bad person. because of his boeing mind, he used to overlook things and let his mind take off to unknown island of thoughts.and imagine a whole new world. so he made mistakes. he foresaw it. but by that time, his mind had shifted to something else- by the time the situation he had thought through became reality, he would have forgotten thinking about it. he would made some obvious mistakes he knew would happen and would have reminded his mind not to make. but now the mind was some where else. he could never concentrate on a single thing at a time. he was a bad person overall.
his fast mind lost him his youth.he had already lived his youth when he five and six. he had never looked or behaved his age. this also made him angry,irritated & frustrated. as a kid he used to do something. when his appa went off to office and his mother had taken a afternoon nap- he would take that day's newspaper and start tearing it into small small pieces. he used to lie every time he made a mistake. because he knew what was going to happen. it made him a bad kid. when his aunt caught him and his cousin with dirty broom sticks, he knew he was in trouble and within a nano second he would cook up a lie and get away. no one got this part about him.years later he lamented this fact. but his parents knew something was wrong. they took him to auroville. there a french doctor took care of him. she was very gentle was able to instill some sort of control over his mind. his teachers there were quite surprised. he knew so much at such a young age. but he could never pass any exam. they tried to teach him yoga to control his mind. dint work. he couldnt keep his mind a clean slate even for a second.
he used to make mistakes. because when he did something he dint think about it. he had already thought about it but it was forgotten. he had a bad bad memory. but alas it was fast. it lost him this one girl who almost understood him. but i couldnt pity him at any point. he used to quarell with anyone around him when he made mistakes. because he was frustrated. he couldnt understand it was human to make mistakes. he was not a human most of the times. he would never listen to you. you would have wanted to share some worry with him. but his mind would have wandered out some where else. i dont know if i can blame him for that. he used to speak a lot because he use to think a lot. and he would speak as he would think.
overall he was a bad friend. when he moved out of a city he used to forget the city and its people. only ever if he needed something he would remember them. even when he was full of himself he never opened up to anyone. because he was thinking of something else. but there come a stage when he was 10th and no school would take him for 11th. because he never did anything in school. he failed all the exams. but his teachers knew he had learnt what they thought him. eventually some school took him in. there was a good teacher there. he failed her first paper. she somehow understood him. she told himt he will have to take extra classes. he was forced to. but there she never thought him what the cbse wanted her to. she just talked to him. and it helped. for the first time he recognized what he was. he found wonderful friends there. he was changing. and it was bloody difficult. he couldnt control his mind. not yet.
he tunred to the hafflinfgs leaves. even the fulllings. he learnt for the first time he could slow down his mind. just about a bit. he became a chain smoker. people used to scold him for that. but he dint care. he started working and he was for the first time able to concentrate. on a single thing. just for about a minute. but this an improvement right? he still was making mistakes. here too it will take his team guys time to understand him. and by that time he would have moved on and forgotten them. and them him. he used to smoke and one minute after that he would be able to think of just one thing. his mind worked slow and normal. and then that one minute was gone and he was himself again. making mistakes. and then hate himself for that.
yesterday i was drinking with him.for the first time he accepted all this. he lameneted his life. and then he got hit by something heavy moving vehicle. he was hit badly and struggling for life. i knew it. there was so much blood. and i knew his mind would still be thinking about something. it was short circuiting. suffering. and i knew i should not save him. he had suffered a lot already. like a movie character in a time travel, where he had to die young. because there are always reasons which you can never know about. he might have known. and forgotten. and as he lay bleeding on the NH-8 i left him there and walked back home. a crowd had gathered and he was taken to a hospital. he is just about alive. but i hope with all my heart that he dies. and be in peace at last. for once his mind should have no thoughts in it. just blank. but i have hoped for lot of things for him and it had never happened. i am sure he will be back. i just hope he would have changed by then.
free
2 comments:
"he tunred to the hafflinfgs leaves. even the fulllings".. Good one!!
what a wowiee!! classy written machi.... "a nano second to cook up a lie" .. semma articulation...
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